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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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