Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He kissed a someone with a penis
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
