The maid of honor just puked.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize