I can text with my tongue
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
