But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
