More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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