this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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