Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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