FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Everclear isn't food dammit
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
