The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
