Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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