I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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