she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
