she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
