Got a toothbrush?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
