So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize