a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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