i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
