and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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