Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
