: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
