I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
