Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
