Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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