If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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