do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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