"it" just moved
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
