Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.

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(626): View more from California

you didnt know i had herpes?

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(801): View more from Utah

Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first

(206): View more from Washington

You are the luckiest man alive

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(203): View more from Connecticut

My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

That was an excessively violent trivia night

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(630): View more from Illinois

i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out

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(919): View more from North Carolina

You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..

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(708): View more from Illinois

No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.

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