so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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