No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
