My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
we made out on top of his cat.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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