So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
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