So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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