I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
