He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize