Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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