I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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