I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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