stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
