i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
