Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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