I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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