It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
