garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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