Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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