he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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