finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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