He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
