checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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