In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
