my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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