Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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