I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
