I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
