i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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