just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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