Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
