Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
