so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
