O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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