Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
