I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
