There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
