I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
