ya dads aren't the best wingmen
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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