I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
