Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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