she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
