Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
