WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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